Everything starts somewhere

Bah. Starting things is hard. It’s been a few years since I’ve done this blogging thing, so bear with me as I find my footing again. I’ve been struggling for structure for a while, and I’ve had several thoughts about how to approach it. Ultimately, I decided that I wanted to create something that was publicly facing. There are a few reasons for this - some of those are around things that bring me joy, others are around professional goals that I have. But part of it is because when I only do things in a realm that only I see them, my work seems so separated from purpose. I make things, but I don’t do anything with them because you can only give the same people gifts so many times. I come up with ideas of things I want to do, but I don’t want create a bunch of waste for something that will only ever bring me the joy of making it. So, I decided that maybe it’s time to create some structure around that making that has a more public view.

This first post is mostly just going to be writing. I don’t have any pretty pictures to show you, or links to sources, but I wanted to start somewhere. So, I figured I’d start with my thoughts. I’ve put a lot of thought into this structure. It’s the end of March now, but it was last summer that I started feeling like I needed to build something like this again. Last summer I created my first Instagram reel around making, and I quiet enjoyed it. It was simple to make, I could just talk about the thing I was doing, and I got some interesting questions about my process. I was making dice at the time. I thought “Hey, I could do more of this!” So, I decided that I wanted to continue exploring that realm of content creation. But, as usual, I found that the structure I created for myself (2-3 videos per dice set, trying something new and creative with each pour, trying to post 1 set a week) was restrictive and stopped me from wanting to post anything. I had people start to follow me, but I wasn’t sure if they were following me because of my dice and if they would get upset if I moved from that format. I also don’t like the setup I have visually. I wasn’t editing footage as fast as I was taking it, and I was doing all my editing on my phone. So, when I was ready to post something new, it was a logistical pain to figure out how to re-download the footage to my phone for editing.

Dice Pouring

As I write this post, this is the most recent Instagram post I made. I posted this reel on September 4th, over 6 months ago.

All that pressure, and all those logistics, stopped m in my tracks. I built a structure in my mind that wasn’t working. I created a barrier in my head about what people wanted from me, and was afraid to do anything else. I created a logistical pinch point that made things more difficult than they could be.

At first, I was disappointed that I “failed” so quickly. But, that just doesn’t jive with my personal philosophy on making. In one of the spaces that I run, we have a public fail shelf on display. On the shelf is a reminder that “Failure is… part of the process, a sign you’re trying, an opportunity to learn something.” I added that shelf because often when we’re trying something new, we’re more likely to do something that we might perceive as a failure, but that’s not a bad thing.

Me creating a schedule for Instagram reels and wanting to fit a certain mold was me focusing on what I thought other people want from me. One of the reasons I focused on that is because I’ve run a blog in the past - I’ve been a content creator. And the thing that everyone always focuses on there is finding your niche and making sure your content is consistent so that people coming to you know what to expect. That didn’t work for me then, and it’s not going to work now. I know that I want to do more with my creative practice than randomly do something when I have the energy. I know that it’s important to me for that practice to have a public face to that process. Not because I want all eyes on me, but because I want to be challenged to create things that matter. I want to incorporate my anthropological training with my making practice, and I want to do so in a way that I can point to something and say - “that’s what I’m about”.

So, that’s what I’m trying to start here. I’ve built a structure that uses something I care about (a book) as a starting point for exploration into several making practices that I want to explore more. The book is a way to provide limitations and cohesion between each making exploration. It’s not meant to create a series of fan art, but rather thematic boundaries for me to apply. I like that those boundaries can be stretched and manipulated, but still create some sort of framework for my to focus my exploration. And when I’m done with this thematic exploration, I can move to another.

This website is half blog, half exhibit. The exhibit part is still very much under construction. My goal for this process is to be transparent about my process, share my exploration into different making practices, explore some of the history behind these practices, and incorporate some of the theory that has shaped my professional life over the past decade. Eventually, I’d like to incorporate other types of media. I know that there is a lot of demand for video and short form content, and I’d like to incorporate more of that while still having this exhibit/blog structure to allow for more nuanced exploration of the practices and topics I explore. From a content creation perspective, I hope that my niche is other people who are interested in following these types of explorations in a way that is more than just surface deep.

Well, I guess that’s about it for now. If you’ve taken the time to read this, thanks! I intentionally don’t have comments up yet, as I’m not sure how much of this part of the process is built for public interaction verse personal introspection. For now - you’re welcome to follow along using the follow button up top - once you give it your email, Follow.it will send you an email with the contents of a blog post whenever I post here. I make no promises about schedule (for all the reasons stated above), but I can promise that each post will be something I feel like is meaningful for me to write. You’re also welcome to follow me on Instagram, where I’ll be sharing things a little more frequently (hopefully). As I have more options, I’ll talk about them here - mostly so that you, the reader, know how you can stay tuned to see where this project takes me.

Well, that’s it for now. My next steps are to jump into a deep re-read of my first book (well, two book series, really) and work on integrating those themes more intentionally into the projects I’ve already planned out.